Teaching Children Good Behavior With Rewards

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Some parents think or feel that rewarding children is too much like bribery. They don’t want to apply the use of rewards with their children, because they feel they are bribing them to get what they want accomplished. However it is one of the most effective teaching tools around.

If you think about it our entire society is based on a system of rewards. As responsible adults we are rewarded for getting out of bed each day and going to work, and meeting the requirements of a job in order to receive a paycheck. For some, plaques are given for a special achievement; other rewards might be paid vacation time for being loyal to a company. Retirees are often given special gifts. Stores are now giving reward points to keep you coming back. The rewards adults receive are too numerous to mention here, but it gives you the basic idea.

In this society we live in we are rewarded for hard work and personal discipline. For most of us it is a difficult struggle to achieve something if there is nothing special to be gained.

You may already be rewarding your child and not be aware of it. By nagging, complaining, begging, screaming, threatening, and punishing you are essentially rewarding their bad behavior by giving them extra attention. Not only are you teaching your child negativity, you probably wind up discouraged and feeling incompetent.

Rewards should not be used as a bribe for disobedience. As an example you are at the supermarket and your child is misbehaving so you offer them candy as a way to get them to obey you. This is rewarding disobedience, and you have actually reinforced the child’s defiance.

A different approach would be to tell your child what you expect from them before entering the supermarket. Such as: no begging, crying, or whining for anything, and explain how you want them to behave. If they follow through on your expectations, you will reward them with a small treat. That treat may be a small candy, sticker, or whatever you deem appropriate. Of course you may need to remind them of your expectations as you are shopping and try to get what they want. But once they learn what your expectations are and that you mean what you say, each trip to the store will get easier. This is a positive reinforcement for good behavior.

The problem most parents seem to have is not following through in what they said, and the child will learn this. One of the most important lessons a parent can learn is you have to mean what you say and then do it. I cannot emphasize this enough. You expect your child to do what you want, but how can they believe you if you don’t do what you say? If you don’t follow through you bring confusion to the life of your child. They will no longer know when you mean what you say. And they will test you.

Teaching children by rewarding them helps instill self confidence. Different situations may require different types of rewards. Rewarding your child can come in many forms; money, hugs, praises, stickers, time at the park are just a few suggestions that work well. You know your child better than anyone and you will know what will motivate them best.

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Source by Donna Randol